we were on and off, on and off, on and off again

Things that are true:

Kim should come back like right away.

I have "Baby Doll" from "Tapeheads" stuck in my head.

Wreckless Eric is a great show to see.

Cold turkey is the only way to quit longhaired musicians with glasses. Now I only like dentists with perfect eyesight.

I am way too tired to make paragraphs.

Me and Mandy Moore will probably become best friends this week.

Crab cakes need to be more readily available.

The New York Islanders (ughh) do not deserve Thomas Pock.

"Kim fun" sometimes sounds like Kam Fung.

My deep dark tan still seems to have gotten deeper and darker over the weekend.

The greatest bracelet ever is now mine.

The FreeCreditReport.com commercials are the worst. ever.

I forgot to make Kim watch the reggaeton IO commercial. (Watch it!)

I forgot to take Kim to Pio Pio.

Pio pio is really fun to say.

Probably a great song for me to sing is "Surrender" by Trixter, mostly because "Give It to Me Good" sounds too dirty.

Dollie never thought of making me an intervention.

on and off again

This was a good weekend for shows, two of my all-time favorites in two days.

Friday there was Mike Viola, the second of his four Joe's Pub shows, third of six shows of his I will see this fall. (Yes, we're going to Boston for the Candy Butchers bonanza). And then Saturday was James. Ohhh James. It had been too long, and an abbreviated (and pricey) set at Radio City wasn't going to be enough for me so we hit the road and headed to The Stone Pony — P.S. why hasn't anyone told me how insanely like this would be going to a show on my very own Shore Front Parkway? — for the real thing.

Mike Viola was great. James brought the house down. I am a lucky girl.

And I am left with a question: Which of these new lyrics is the greatest?

There was a snake in a shrub/ She had a rub on tan (Mike Viola's "Chemical Night" - co-written by daughter Isabel)

Too old for Hamlet, too young for Lear (James' "Whiteboy").

Tough call, right?

it's in me to sing

I haven't written about cooking in a long time, but I just made a very lovely salad that I don't want to forget.

Grilled chicken (6 strips, marinated in balsamic vinegar, olive oil, herbes de Provence)
Goat cheese (small log, with garlic and herbs)
radish (1 large, thin and thick sliced)
cucumber (1 medium, sliced)
romaine (1 head, chopped)
vinaigrette (balsamic vinegar, apple cider vinegar, orange juice, olive oil, salt, pepper, herbes de Provence)

This made two big dinner salads, and they were pretty fantastic.

I had to eat up early to get to work - it's VMAs night! Oh, just kidding. (About the working, not about it being VMAs night.) While the first VMAs that you don't work on are a big deal, the second are almost negligible. I will watch, because I always do and because I expect interesting things from Russell Brand. Tomorrow morning, I will check out all the magic made over at the MTV News site, salute its greatness and be grateful that I had nothing to do with it.

In other news, I love this song. It's by the Constantines, and it is everything that is great about the world:

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I have water, I have rum

On Thursday night, I saw R.E.M. And while I have to say I was oddly disappointed to not hear "Underneath the Bunker" (have they ever played this live? My guess is "no"), it was a wonderful show. I can't imagine a better first time. Sloan was playing the same night, at the same time, at the other end of town. So we hurried out of The Garden after the last note and got to the Bowery Ballroom just in time to catch the last 45 seconds of Sloan's set. Does this count toward our quest to never miss an NYC Sloan show in 11 years? Probably not. The next night, Sloan played again. I danced and drank and sang and fought enough for two nights, easily. I had another wonderful time despite the efforts of that moron in the Brooklyn shirt ("But my ex-girlfriend used to go out with Chris!" Uh, why would that mean I'd let you cut in front of me?) and the-funny-only-to-Chris-Murphy "Skip Lowe". Yikes. Still, the fun never stopped.

Now we're in a bit of a show drought. Sure, there's Jarvis, but not until July 21. Then there is George Michael, on the 23rd, followed by Dead or Alive on the 26th. But what do we do until then?

Quest for Fire, I am looking to you. According to your MySpace page, early July is pretty quiet. Why not come to NYC and take advantage of the weak American dollar? It's the right thing to do.

Here's their video for "I've Been Trying to Leave." Clearly the subtitle should be (Toronto, and Go Play in New York).

another hit I'll take on the chin

Sloan's new album, Parallel Play, came out yesterday. My pre-ordered copy is somewhere in the mail, but Yep Roc is nice and lets you download it as well as having a hard copy.

This morning, after spilling my coffee on my light blueish green shirt ("I'd call that seafoam," said a co-worker who shouldn't say things like "seafoam"), on my long, hot walk to the train, I listened to the album for the second time - first on headphones.

I wasn't going to be easy to please after this terrible coffee-spilling start to the day (and after being bitterly disappointed in Never Hear the End of It), but I clearly and officially really like this record. I have a couple of favorites right now, but I share with you "The Dogs." It's the longest and maybe the best.

Sloan are on tour now. I will see them next Friday (not Thursday. I have REM on Thursday), and I think you should too.

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don't worry about your future

This morning, on the way to work (sipping on an ICED coffee -- thank you so much, Daniela, for asking) I was listening to the previously discussed "Lovely Allen" and realized that I love it because it reminds me of Thrush Hermit's glorious "Patriot." The videos are quite different, I think you'll find, but I can't hold that against Holy Fuck. No one can come close to "Patriot."

In other news, Dollie and I spent about 50% of the day on the train yesterday, which was a wise plan as the train was cold. One of our journeys took us to BAM to see "Reprise," and wow, was that great. I give it five stars. You should see it and love it, for you will, plus then we can discuss Kommune. It's simply too good to spoil.

I know you seen me on the video

I have a strange relationship with music videos. I loved them, mainly. At first, they were a novelty to be enjoyed late on Friday nights or whenever I was visiting Long Island. Once we had cable, I began consuming music videos the way I had previously consumed books, constantly, passionately, voraciously. I still remember the first time I saw "Pictures of You," "Lies" (oh, "Lies"!), even "Underwhelmed" (how is this video nowhere online?).

Then music videos became harder to find. And I started in on a job where my daily (and most wonderful) task included reading comments from people who were very disappointed by the lack of music programming on a music channel. Hey, I understood. They weren't sending their comments to the right place, but if they were looking for a sympathetic ear, they found it.

During that seven-year tenure, music videos became increasingly easy to find. There were the nonstop videos on VH1 Classic, for one (of course they have since given up on videos almost entirely) and the whole watching-videos-online thing, which I just cannot fully embrace. I like the convenience, sure, but I have a really big, really nice TV that I'd rather be watching. On it, I view episodes of "Subterranean," usually a few at a time. I put watching off because it feels like homework, because I hate almost everything played. Seriously, mediocre songs, hideously ugly hipsters, bad animation -- this is not where music videos should have gone.

Tonight, while watching last week's "Subterranean," I saw a video that did it all right. The song is great, for one. The video is performance based, and the people look really into making music. (Hallelujah.) There are no lingering closeups of unattractive people or bad attempts at artistic filmmaking. It's a bunch of people (Holy Fuck, specifically) playing a song ("Lovely Allen," to be precise). And the director, Drew Lightfoot, is a genius, for he totally focuses at any given moment on exactly the instrument you want to see being manipulated right then.

I'd give this six stars if I did such things, but I don't. Instead, it gets five glorious stars. I will put the video here, but it's better on my big TV, for sure.

just for today, let go and slide away

Every once in a while (more like every couple of years) I meet up with people I used to know and still sort of know, in the following-along-online way. Today was one such day.

There's the standard "What have you been up to?"/"Eh, the same. How about you?" exchange, generally. But this time was a bit more interesting. Me and Dollie, we've got a song. (You have heard this, right?) One other guy makes a living trying to figure out if someone urinating into another's orifices will transmit a crystal meth high. And then there's our movie-star peer.

Of course, I have seen this already and knew about it even before that, but I didn't really know how to show you. But I found out. Say Aloha to Aloha. (The magic starts one minute in. Embedding disabled by request, sadly. You must click here to see.)

In other news, I've been listening to Quest For Fire (featuring two Deadly Snakes) since I belatedly learned that they exist (oops!). So yeah, I like what I have heard so far and look forward to hearing more. That will happen in July, on The Storyboard Label, from what I understand. Hopefully they will play in New York soon thereafter.

Anyway, in the meantime, you will have to hear it on MySpace like I do. It's apparently being saddled with some sort of stoner-rock label, but I don't know much about that. To me it sounds like make-out music, you know, music boys play when they invite you over. The way I hear it, "Hawk That Hunts the Walking" exists in the same spirit as Verve's "Slide Away," which is an enormous compliment (seriously, why don't The Verve play that live anymore?) and means it's a total make-out song.

So yeah, crank up the computer and get busy!


PS I hate to see people lose, but dang, Sidney Crosby is one ugly bastard.

PPS I totally have a crush on Mike Babcock.

I know you feel let down

There's a dog barking behind one of the houses. I like to think it is because I am singing this song out loud in my kitchen with the windows open and the little guy is singing along. Probably not though.

Anyway, I am going to keep singing it, because I got out of work on time which means I am alone in the house for a bit. Until I go off the deep end and start singing out loud on the subway, or magically become a decent enough singer that I will sing in the house in front of people, this is one of my few chances to go for it. Singing is good for the soul, you know.

Singing this (Long Way by The General Store) is excellent for the soul. Tam (and Lola, of course), I thank you for bringing this into my life lo many years ago.

Speaking of many years, today is 12 since I met Dollie. Whoa.

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seductive in small doses

Sometime last week or the week before, I got re-crushed on someone. Re-crushed is bad, worse than newly-crushed. With newly-crushed, there's a lot of learning to do, things to watch for, things to look up.

With re-crushed, there is all of that, plus all of the stuff I'd originally experienced/written/talked about to re-explore. In other words, I've been trolling my old online diaries and annoying the heck out of my friends by making them flesh out my remembrances.

It's bad, but it isn't on purpose. Something in my brain chemistry does this to me. I don't mean it. It's a sickness, for serious.

No one understands the disease quite like the Trash Can Sinatras, who have given us a completely exhilarating song about it -- good luck not getting caught up in it.

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I love this song the way I love the people I get re-crushed on. "Hayfever" takes me over, "Drowners"-style. The crush takes me over, "Drowners"-style. By the time the song is over, you (well, I) believe you've been on the best ride ever that was just short enough to leave you feeling cheated. I don't think I've ever listened to it just once. Repeat! I can't remember why my last crush on this boy ended (someone else moved in, I'd guess), but once clearly wasn't enough. Repeat!

If you really want to enjoy the song, don't dig too deep. It's pretty dark. Poor Harry. He's creepy, yeah, but oh can I relate. [Wo]men, germs, why can't a couple of tablets take care of both? I think Harry might be a maniacal stalker (at least in the lyrics I am finding online ... many of which I never knew or would have guessed) but I understand much of his ailment.

I also must note that the first time I heard this song it was featured on a Details magazine giveaway CD. I am old.

honestly I don't remember who you are

Here's what happened:


Hockey. We win, we lose, it runs my life. PS Have you met Fredrik Sjostrom?

<--

I mean, really. Whoa, right? Today hockey isn't looking great, but we will still win the Stanley Cup and I will still get my tattoo.

In other news, everything else is difficult and making me miserable, including the fact that my annual (see 2007 and 2006) so so so wrong obsession with a so so so wrong man has come around, and he's pulling a "CSI: Miami" this year. I can laugh about it now, but that doesn't make it OK.

Hmm, what else? Finally, after getting my hands on the book years late (and then choosing to put it on the backburner and avoid reading it right after my poor Nipsey went to heaven), I am reading "The Year of Magical Thinking." Which is great because I can't even listen to "11:11" without crying (believe me, I have tried!), clearly a book about death is just what I need during these fragile (for some reason) days. But what Joan Didion does (what she always does) is make me itch to write my book. So I have been, a tiny bit. A very tiny bit. I came home last night after an unsettling outing with El Fano (the movie was disturbing, not the company) and wrote two small parts. I think I only have about 1,200 other parts to go. Hooray!

In these uncertain times, a good song to listen to is "Second Chance," by Liam Finn, because it feels like a shot of adrenaline, mostly when it gets to the "you stand around your haunted home" mark. I love it right now, and I hope you like it too.

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separate the girls from the boys

I was separated from the boys today at work. So, of course, I have taken to singing "North Dakota." Not because it's as dramatic as all that, but how many opportunities do I get to bust this one out (alone, in my own house.)

If you know, then you know. And if you don't, I'm here to help. (Click play, it will change you. And you could use a little change.)

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OK, everybody: Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ooooh oooooh ....

If you're having a bad day, I highly recommend singing this song at top volume for an hour. It's totally working for me. Of course, it helps if you already know the song and are also drinking beer. It's even more fun to sing it at top volume in a booth at Flannery's (or at least it was, 10 years ago) while drinking beer, but I take what I can get these days.

Now, it's drinking a 24-oz Corona out of goblet (I am a classy lady) and pumping the Hermit on iTunes while putting off watching "American Idol." I am also trying to buy myself some stuff at Sephora (honestly, that Black Honey collection was made for me!) to blank the pain away, but the site is being a butt.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure it's the singing that's really cheering me up. Also of note, I typed "Dakota" into the search, so I get to sing "North Dakota" and the Stereophonics' "Dakota." It's like a dream, really. I bet you wish you were here.

has anyone ever written anything for you

!!!!

let's burn up the night

Have I mentioned how much I love "Cheaters"? OK, so I love "Cheaters." My stepfather, whose TV watching is mainly limited to sports, "Law & Order" reruns, "Cops" and the Lifetime Movie Network (yeah, we can't figure that one out either) introduced me to it, and I've been hooked since.

Did you see that "Fashionable People" by the Joel Plaskett Emergency was the #1 featured video on YouTube? Because that pretty much completely blew my mind. Also, it inspired what is probably my second favorite Joel quote ever: "He's like the opposite of Samson--he had to cut his hair to BECOME awesome in his power! If that crap doesn't make him a million dollars in pussy, nothing will." Oh Shanno, I miss you so. [Top favorite Joel quote, also from Shanno: "Iron deficiency man"]

Canadian Music Week is happening now, but I am not in Canada. Remember the fun we used to have at CMW? Remember the fun we used to have full stop? It it time for a return to fun. I demand it. The fun starts now. Or soon. This weekend, let's say. I need some time to prepare. Plus I have a lot of "Cheaters" on the DVR, and we're at 98% capacity.

good ideas do not fall out of thin air

Mike Viola is moving. He's off to Los Angeles in a couple of weeks, for a good long while, I'd imagine. (He does have a little girl and all. You don't want to uproot a kid a couple of times a year.)

I warned Dollie that she wasn't allowed to cry at Friday's farewell show, but I started myself during the second verse of like the third song. And then I stopped. And then I started again like 10 other times.

So this was supposed to be the post where I talk about the huge role Mike Viola's music has played in my life, how we've probably seen him live more than 100 times over the past 11 years, how he came to our house and sang "I Want It That Way" to a Ewan McGregor pillow (on camera!), how he's the first thing that Dollie and I discovered and adopted together, and probably one of the bigger reasons that Jane and Dollie became jane&dollie®

But then ... Mike said they'd be back for another run of shows in the fall. So when we said goodnight, I didn't cry. Six or seven months? I can handle six or seven months.

In the meantime, enjoy this. And keep September-November clear.

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get out of town and forever be free

I have a monster crush, which means that I am feeling a little in love right now (or a lot in like, at least) — in that fun one-sided way that I enjoy. When I feel this way, it makes everything sound a little better and more romantic, including songs.

And so I present "Forever For Her (Is Over For Me), which may be some old last-ditch effort by Jack White to get Renee Zellweger back (Is that true? I feel like I read it somewhere once), but more than that, it's totally a super-dreamy love song that I have certainly not been skipping on my iPod lately.

I'm not completely sold on The White Stripes and I'm really not a fan of this album, but honestly, "Everybody's reaction is changing you/ But their love is only a fraction of what I can give to you" is like over the moon stuff, people.

Perhaps it is sad story that I find nothing more romantic than a plea to run away together, but come on, that's romantic! I'd probably go anywhere with a person if he wrote me this song. Wouldn't you?

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chock full of expectations

So sometime last week — Monday, I think — I finally got around to visiting Mike Viola's web site, which I don't do daily. Turns out he posted on 2/14 that this Joe's Pub party was a send-off ("I'm waving goodbye, you think I'm waving hello"). He's moving his family to Los Angeles.

While we wish them happiness, fun and amazing success in L.A., it's a huge downer to lose them, especially after getting to see him play all these weeks in a row. It's been 11 years that we've been following Mike Viola's career, and back in the beginning, he played out all the time with the Candy Butchers. We'd see them once a week at a minimum. What a delight.

Anyway, here's a Mike Viola song about everything ever. It's not a great example of his similarities to Marshall Crenshaw (see last week's post), but it's a great example of his greatness, in that it's totally live, very simple and completely devastating. He isn't even showing off what a great singer and guitar player he is on this one. There are probably 10 MV songs on my 100 Greatest Songs of All Time list, but this is way up there.

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Also, if you are keeping track, I got a crazy bad crush on someone at the show (not Mike Viola, obviously). If you want to know more, find me and ask about it. Poor Dollie and Kim would certainly like a break from hearing about him. He is dreamy, though.

maybe you'll understand me

On Friday night, at around 12:30AM (OK, I guess that's really Saturday morning), I had a very strange experience. My favorite musician at age seven (Marshall Crenshaw) and my favorite musician for the past 10 years now (Mike Viola) did a few songs together on stage.

They started out with the Crenshaw standard "Someday, Someway," and while that is probably not my favorite song of his, it's perfect in every way. The moment was, well, stupendously bizarre. In a good way.

And while I imagine a few dozen others felt exactly the same way (it's not a stretch that a Mike Viola fan would be a Marshall Crenshaw fan), it seemed like it was a special moment just for me.

I'd also imagine that everyone has heard "Someday, Someway" a billion times now, but maybe you haven't. You really should.

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I will come back soon and write more. Promise.

like The McLaughlin Group Awards, only different

What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before? Handed in a letter of resignation, met a New York Ranger. Surely some other things as well.

Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't remember them. I always resolve to be better, so I'm guessing that I kept it in some ways and didn't in many others.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

Did anyone close to you die? No.

What countries did you visit? Not even Canada.

What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? A new apartment. Other things.

What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory? July 9.

What was your biggest achievement of the year? Walking away from an abusive relationship with my job.

What was your biggest failure? Falling into the same patterns in a new place.

Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing requiring serious medical attention.

What was the best thing you bought? My heathered blue Gap European collection dress.

Whose behaviour merited celebration? Everyone I love, pretty much.

Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? Why give it any more airtime?

Where did most of your money go? Rent, cable, Metrocards. What a thrilling existence!

What did you get really, really, really excited about? Hockey. Flight of the Conchords. "Big Brother" (wow, that is sad).

What song/album will always remind you of 2007? There aren't too many songs that have time-sensitive memories linked to them -- this wasn't the year that I played "___" all (summer/winter). But I have a very vivid '07 memory tied to "On Call" by Kings of Leon, so let's go with that.

Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder? happier
Thinner or fatter? fatter
Richer or poorer? poorer

What do you wish you’d done more of? Celebrating.

What do you wish you’d done less of? Worrying.

How will you be spending/did you spend Christmas? With my family, like always.

Who did you spend the most time on the phone with? My mom.

Did you fall in love in 2007? The acceptable answer is "No." But I'm going with "I don't know." I am unacceptable.

How many one night stands in this last year? Zero.

What was your favourite TV programme? "Flight of the Conchords."

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I have no valid reason to hate.

What was the best book(s) you read? "All Souls." I'm a bit behind.

What was your greatest musical discovery? That my mind can change a lot. Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Good Charlotte and a dude from The Strokes all put out some music that I actually enjoyed.

What did you want and get? A job at Madison Square Garden.

What did you want and not get? There's still a week to find out. I live in hope.

What were your favourite films of this year? "Lars and the Real Girl." "Once." "The Darjeeling Limited."

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? That actual day, I went to dinner with Dollie. The weekend after, I had dinner with Dollie and a whole bunch of other friends -- two of them traveled a billion miles to be there. I was (and am) 32.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More money. More time off. Fewer infestations.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? Short Dress, Black Tights

What kept you sane? Friends, family, hockey, sleep.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Jemaine!

What political issue stirred you the most? Stirred: The crappy lineup of talent out front in the presidential race. I am unimpressed. Shaken, on the other hand: Just about everything else.

Who did you miss? Kim. Some people at MTV. Some people who aren't alive.

Who was the best new person you met? I met a lot of new good people, so I can't say. It may hurt the others' feelings. But he/she knows, I think.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
If you gotta go, go now. Or else you gotta stay all night.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"You have suffered enough/ And warred with yourself/ It's time that you won."

can't stop it, won't stop it

Jennifer Lopez, I adore you.

I can dish it out, but I can't take it

November has become a strange month for me. Two years ago in November, I went on a weekend trip to Florida to visit my grandfather, for what would be our final days together. He was really sick. While my Dad and I were there, we kind of knew it would be the last time. Of course we hoped it wouldn't, and we believed it wouldn't, but we knew it could be.

Last November, when I often flashed back to those last days, it wasn't surprising. It was a big deal (certainly the first time I spent with someone while knowing it was very possible that it would be the last), and it was only a year away. And I'm prone to flashing back on moments, not memories, really, just strange still images of places and feelings. Like a weirdo. But yeah, I'm having it again this year. Maybe I'll have it forever. Who can say? It's not disturbing or unpleasant. It's just kind of strange. Perhaps in a good way.

What this has to do with the following song is debatable. On one hand, nothing at all. But on the other, this album defined last winter for me, and that must count for something. It's everything that I love in a song. I should probably now explain how my favorite songs are either 2 minute perfect pop songs or 7 minute tempo-change epics, but you get the idea. Here's Limousine, from Brand New, which is apparently inspired by a true story of a horrible drunk driving death but is also about 900 other things as far as I can tell. It's glorious — tragic and soaring and heartbreaking and beautiful and so so so November.

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what have I done to deserve this?

I have had "Lisa Lisa" stuck in my head all day. Not Lisa Lisa, but "Lisa Lisa". Oh no oh no oh.

In better news: Hey, did you know they had Inbreds videos? Me neither! I love the Internets.

guess how much

Do you watch half-hour infomercials for Time-Life music collections? Because I do. They are my favorite programming. I'm a big fan of "Malt Shop Memories," and just tonight I discovered "Soft Rock" starring Air Supply. These small delights are what I live for, honestly. Also, on this genius 30 minutes of television I discovered that there is a video for Benny Mardones' "Into the Night," but I cannot find it on YouTube. If you have it, please share. Especially if you can get it to me by early December.

there was time to kill

Next Rangers game (that I have tickets to): 142 hours

My birthday: 16 days (yes, even at my advanced age, I still live for my birthday)

"Flight of the Conchords" on DVD: 30 days

Surely there are other great things to be excited for and look forward to, but I can't think of them right now. Instead, enjoy this totally weird video for "Countdown," by Pulp. And wonder how it is that I have never seen it before. Speaking of weird Pulp videos, I really need to dig up my 12-year-old mashup video for "97 Lovers." I wouldn't hold my breath for that to actually happen.

remember the time

Today was my first day at a new job. Those of you who know me know that this doesn't happen very often, as I am terribly loyal, holding on to a job far longer than I should in some cases. So yes, that was new and exciting.

In other big-changes news, I finally got the HD DVR to go with the HD TV I bought last October. Surely sports and movies are going to be infinitely more enjoyable with this new cable box, and it has some sweet features like the option to start recording a show late — so I was able to DVR "The Office" (end time 10:01PM) "Grey's Anatomy" (end time 10:02PM) and "Without a Trace" (start time 10PM) — but it is lacking a few things. One problem is that the time elapsed doesn't show up when you're fast-forwarding anymore, just an arrow that shows you where you are in the show. Um, that's not good enough.

Tonight, I said, "I really miss the time," as I zipped through "Subterranean." And Dollo replied, "Ohh. ... Really?"

Because she thought I meant Morris Day's band. Seriously.

Luckily, I don't really miss The Time. I think they still tour, for one thing, plus I can enjoy gems like this whenever I like. What a delight.

feeling like an orchid

I could be accused of serving just to serve, and I apologize in advance for my poor humor, but I have to call out this New York Vulture interview with some 21-year-old goof from a pretty lame band.

Like "The Hills," this interview with Zach Condon makes me so glad I'm not 21, but unlike "The Hills," it isn't even fun.

Key points that made my eyes roll out of my head:

• Living among Hasidm in "South Williamsburg" makes him feel like he's in "an entirely different country"
• the "guilty pleasure" question on the whole — can't blame the kid for that one, but he does get daggers for "even Bruce Springsteen" answer. Oh even him, hmm?
• And, of course, "I'm an old man at heart."

I'm sure this Beirut fellow is a nice boy — though I've been hating the band's name since I first heard it — but this interview makes me want to throw tomatoes.

waiting for something to break

A couple of weeks back, I had a job interview that featured some of the standard job interview questions. One was, "What is your dream job?" The position I was there for — or at least the building that the position was in — came pretty close, I thought. At least until I can retire and be a feisty old lady who owns a bar.

But what David Chase reminded me during his Emmy acceptance speech last night, and what I thought of again this morning as I started up the season finale of "Rescue Me" and the Lemonheads' "My Drug Buddy" opened the show, is that my actual dream job (does this job even really exist?) is to pick the songs to play over TV shows and movie scenes, crucial montages especially.

This is probably only a part-time gig that I could still do while holding down a full-time job. So yes, I'm available for that immediately and forever.

And here's "Rudderless." It's not "My Drug Buddy" — it's better.

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it's not a f-ing school play production

These were my first VMAs as a civilian since 1999.

What did I think? Well, I can't remember much, as I am a teeny bit drunk (I don't know how many Ginger-Pear Explosions I had — seriously, we need a real name for these drinks. I invented them during the NHL playoffs to take the edge off. They feature Absolute Pears, fresh ginger, lime and ginger ale — but it was more than three). But I do know that Britney Spears was terrible (WAKE UP, snoozy!), Fall Out Boy looked terrible (though I do love them lately, for some reason) and Gym Class Heroes winning ANYTHING is beyond terrible. Someday, when I am confident that I can do it while keeping my blood pressure in a safe range, I will explain every single thing that is wrong with their despicable "Clothes Off."

But yeah, Chris Brown is pretty great, Nelly Furtado seemed insanely drunk, Sarah Silverman said something that made me laugh for the FIRST TIME EVER (no idea what it was now), and I can't stop loving Linkin Park. Or Rihanna.

In wedding news (What wedding? Who knows?!) no one had on a look that I wanted to emulate for my wedding — like J. Lo rocked before — but I did enjoy Alicia Keys' appropriation of George Michael's "Freedom '90," which I will surely play (the real thing, I mean) at my wedding. The song takes you on a dance journey. Plus "I don't belong to you, and you don't belong to me" is too right-on to pass up.

OK, also, where the bleep was Fabrice Fabrice?

So yeah, I watched closely, from the 8PM pre-show to Sway's delightful 11:17ish sign off. When it was all over, I went back to my new non-reality, that which I know and love. "Flight of the Conchords," of course.

our love goes under the knife

Idolator tells me that Charlotte Gainsbourg had surgery for a brain hemorrhage today. This reminds me that I should show you "The Operation," in case you've missed it.

Is that incredibly tasteless? Probably. It isn't meant to be. It's just that reading news about her reminded me that I have neglected to note that I love her — her songs, her hair (obviously), her face, her way. Jarvis Cocker wrote almost every song on 5:55 (Air and Neil Hannon worked on it too). That helps explain why I like it so much, but I like it more than Jarvis' solo album, so clearly Charlotte herself is a big part of the greatness. Anyway, here's "The Operation." Love it.

'sofa king hot'

It's the first day back at work after a lovely long weekend for many, and if you need a boost, I recommend, as ever, Crunk + Disorderly.

Fresh had me laughing out loud twice in a row just now, due to her assessment of Richard Williams' dangerously "hot steps" and the "I vote Lloyd Banks"/"I still have every intention of backing Kenny Chesney" rip on 50 Cent. The woman is a genius.

100 Greatest Songs - Exhibit 3

For Labor Day weekend, I present Mike O'Neill's "Andy" because it begins "Andy, the summer's over ..." Oh yes, and also because it's one of the greatest songs ever.

It's a simple little tune, this one. And I can't quite put my finger on why it's devastatingly brilliant, but I surely believe that it is, all 2 minutes and 30 seconds of it.

It has a bit of a dreamy sound to it — you're sort of floating along with him when he hits you with the "to think IT'S OVER!" at exactly the halfway point (genius). And it is certainly fun to sing (I've played it six times today and have belted out every last note along with Mr. O'Neill).

In all, it's a sigh of a song, mournful — about Andy (whoever that is), about time passing, about missing out on whatever it is that's right in front of you — in a tasteful way, with impressive restraint. Love it.

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when the seasons change we'll look ridiculous

I have had a worse season than this. Spring 1994 was hell on earth. Surely summer 2007 isn't that bad. But make no mistake, it is awful.

So in the interest of turning the beat around, I present "Summer's My Season," by Sloan. It's one long and dirgey play on words -- which would be painful, you'd think, but it's actually fantastic.

May it make the remaining weeks of this season bearable.

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don't worry about your future, just call in the patriot

In case you haven't already (and surely many of you haven't already) enjoyed this, please enjoy it now. It's my favorite anything ever, and that endorsement should be enough, frankly.

You may not laugh and cry (though I sure did), but you will never be the same.

I present Thrush Hermit's "Patriot."

100 Greatest Songs - Exhibit 2

Today, I present "Smothered in Hugs," because my sunshine fund is low and because it seems an appropriate send off for the lovely Matt Cullen.

I hated this song when I first heard it, along with everything on Bee Thousand, an album so painfully low-fi that it smacked of a rich kid slumming. Seriously, unless you're living in a cave and recording with rocks, there's no reason for an album to sound that bad.

But a musician whom I love and trust couldn't believe I didn't like the record. "Not even 'Smothered in Hugs?' " he asked. "You'd love that song."

Ugh. No. Why would I love