The Modern Log

I just killed a bug with my hand and instantly regretted it. I announced, “That was shitty. Now I feel bad about it.” Um, no one is here. Who am I talking to!?!
In better news, Dollie is my hero. You may not get that bananacake joke (well, well, well, you should!), but trust me, [...]

I love winning. And we won! Even though I wasn’t there. Finally. Nice one, boys.
Also, this is so wonderful. But then again, it could just be that I love James Franco. And the name Justin Bobby.
The Hills with James Franco and Mila Kunis on FunnyOrDie.com

I am feeling better, and work has been good, but it is very frustrating to keep churning out genius high-quality blog post after genius high-quality blog post to no fanfare and few comments. It is making me feel sad and unappreciated. You know what would make me feel better? A movie deal. And a new [...]

I’m feeling better, a lot better, but still really awful. So I did what anyone in my position (two blocks away from Macy’s) would do. I went to Henrik to be healed. Am I healed? Not so far. But I did get to look at him in person and stand right in front of him [...]

Dear YouTube,
You suck. Not only do you not have “VD Gets Around,” you keep giving me some other weird square white people VD commercial instead (which is just creepy). Plus how can you not have “I’m a dog, I’m a working dog, I’m a hard working dog!” I’m disgusted.
love*jane

Sick days? SICK DAYS?! You know how I feel about sick days. In my mind, I am very ready to get back to work. My body is not cooperating. I woke up, somewhat disheartened by the rain (Ugh, I guess I better take the bus — not a good idea to be walking that golden [...]

What a waste of vacation, lying on the couch in misery, watching the Rangers lose twice and hating everything ever. I really really need to be back in good form for work tomorrow, and I really need sleep, so I have concocted a reasonably lovely hot toddy for myself (with spiced dark rum, honey, hot [...]

I’ve watched a lot of TV today — “The Hills,” “Life,” “49 Up,” “The Soup,” “Carpoolers,” “Cavemen,” “How I Met Your Mother,” much of a “John Edward: Coast to Coast” marathon and more, but this National Geographic Channel show about how pigs are the smartest things ever may be the best. In case you were [...]

The flu? Seriously? But I felt fine yesterday. Apparently that’s how it works with the flu. I woke up this morning and couldn’t move from the aches and pains. Now I am exhausted, aching, fevered and bleh with a sore throat. Please God, that I didn’t pass it on to anyone yesterday.

Dinner for eight was a success, but I am so tired.

Yay Colton Orr! I know it’s not his Thanksgiving, but he came across with something to make me say thanks. Oh, I love to win. And I love when the win comes from an unexpected source.

I did this, and I keep looking at it and I can’t stop laughing. I am my own favorite comic genius! Also, quite handy with the paintbrush. Look out, Perez!

Ugh. All mechanical things are not cooperating with me. First it was the food processor. Then the HD-DVR (by the way, if I could do it all over again, I’d stick with the regular one) and now even the computer. It all makes me very cranky. Plus that I am cranky anyway, as I hate [...]

Thursday I am cooking — turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, corn, carrots, brussels sprouts, sweet potatoes, cranberry relish, the whole deal — for 8-9 people. I love cooking, and I think I’m pretty good at it, but haven’t made a meal in so long that I must be rusty. And I am terrified.

You’re Feingold-Kucinich!
As Russ Feingold, you are often on your own, a lone voice of sanity in an insane asylum.You keep voluntarily returning to the asylum, convinced that you can change the minds of those around you. You talk about the need for personal freedom, to avoid fighting for the rest of one’s life, and even [...]

Today was exhausting, another 10.5 hour job. Tomorrow I plan to watch TV. Oh yeah, and work. How did this happen again?

You know when you’re having one of those weeks, where you’re working a billion hours and not sleeping nearly enough and finding at the end of the day that you have maybe one or two things you’ve done that you’re happy with and about (if you are lucky — I am)? How do you get [...]

Puppethead. Tang Teeth. Anti. The Extra Inch Guy. Just when you think we’d reached the peak of nicknaming genius, there’s Falp. Of course that is an in-joke that cannot be explained right now, but trust that it is fantastic.

Dollie is laughing at me because I am happy, giddily recounting my day at work. It was good! It was 13 hours long, but I loved every min— well, let’s not get carried away. But I loved enough of it to leave smiling and still be smiling now. Most of the good stuff happened well [...]

(that’s Sam Rosen, Dave Maloney, Ryan Hollweg and Sean Avery.)
Today I went to a Rangers season subscriber event, and Sean Avery had to leave early because he had to meet a girl’s parents for the first time. Ha! Which girl? What parents? Page Six better have the goods. Anyway, I found that hilarious. The whole [...]