The Modern Log

Dear Vroom Vroom Guy,
Seriously, vroom vroom-ing while going 25MPH behind a Greyhound in the Lincoln Tunnel?
And the Baltimore Orioles? Really? If you could hear what I was saying in my car, you’d know that New Jersey plates surrounded by an Orioles plate-pretty makes you the saddest man ever. Also, a plate-pretty? Stop it.
In other news, [...]

In the interest of improving your life with my inane thoughts, I’ve decided to post far too frequently for as long as I can keep it up. Because why not?
In that vein, I don’t believe that I have introduced my star system of grading. It’s quite simple, like all great things. Things that are great [...]

I responded to what I thought was a promising apartment rental post on Craigslist, and heard back from some dude who wanted me to wire $950 to London. Yeah, I’ll get right on that.
What I might as well do is list here what I do want. It’s about as useful as trolling Craigslist for no-fees, [...]

I could be accused of serving just to serve, and I apologize in advance for my poor humor, but I have to call out this New York Vulture interview with some 21-year-old goof from a pretty lame band.
Like “The Hills,” this interview with Zach Condon makes me so glad I’m not 21, but unlike “The [...]

Have I mentioned my obsession with “Big Brother”? Well, I am obsessed with “Big Brother,” more this season than any other (mainly due to my free time, I’d imagine), and tonight, my favorite player won! (Well, my favorite player after pretty Nick left.) Hooray!

Brett Somers died Saturday. I didn’t know.
Where was her tribute on the Emmys? Did no one know until today? I’m devastated, of course. She is one of my heroes.
One time, I went to see Charles Nelson Reilly’s “Life of Reilly” stage show, and Brett Somers sat near me in the audience, and I nearly fainted [...]

A couple of weeks back, I had a job interview that featured some of the standard job interview questions. One was, “What is your dream job?” The position I was there for — or at least the building that the position was in — came pretty close, I thought. At least until I can retire [...]

News anchor: … and something something rugby rage.
Me: Dollie, I think I have rugby rage.
Dollie: I would not be surprised.
Me: Huh? What is that supposed to mean?!
Dollie: I don’t know. It just seemed like the only appropriate response.

These were my first VMAs as a civilian since 1999.
What did I think? Well, I can’t remember much, as I am a teeny bit drunk (I don’t know how many Ginger-Pear Explosions I had — seriously, we need a real name for these drinks. I invented them during the NHL playoffs to take the edge [...]

Idolator tells me that Charlotte Gainsbourg had surgery for a brain hemorrhage today. This reminds me that I should show you “The Operation,” in case you’ve missed it.
Is that incredibly tasteless? Probably. It isn’t meant to be. It’s just that reading news about her reminded me that I have neglected to note that I [...]

On Monday, I asked Dollie, “Whoa, are the VMAs this weekend?”
They are. September 9. Sunday. It’s a date that would be chiseled into my brain, leaving permanent damage, a day that would be my only focus had I not done something crazy on May 9. (That’d be announcing my resignation, for those of you who [...]

It’s the first day back at work after a lovely long weekend for many, and if you need a boost, I recommend, as ever, Crunk + Disorderly.
Fresh had me laughing out loud twice in a row just now, due to her assessment of Richard Williams’ dangerously “hot steps” and the “I vote Lloyd Banks”/”I still [...]

I love “Flight of the Conchords,” the HBO show. And I love Flight of the Conchords, the act — though it took creating a sitcom around the songs for me to truly appreciate lines like “They’re turning kids into slaves just to make cheaper sneakers/ But what’s the real cost ’cause the sneakers don’t seem [...]